George Carlin
On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics:Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices.Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been?Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"?Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.
Alain de Botton

Penguin presents, the unabridged, downloadable, audiobook edition of The Course of Love by Alain de Botton, read by Julian Rhind-Tutt.

SUNDAY TIMES TOP TEN BESTSELLER

From one of our great thinkers on modern life and the human condition - an unforgettable story of love and marriage from the author of bestselling novel Essays in Love as well as The Consolations of Philosophy, Religion for Atheists and The School of Life

'The Course of Love probes the very heart of marriage, its shifts and squalls, its great adventure, with such forensic tenderness. I laughed a lot, too' Deborah Moggach

'Engaging, sympathetic, acutely perceptive... There's a refreshing honesty in what de Botton has to say' Guardian

'Anyone who is, has been, or would ever like to be, in a satisfying, successful relationship, would do well to read de Botton' Irish Independent

'He debunks the myth of the happily ever after with a painfully familiar, often hilarious detailing of petty arguments, the occasional extra-marital fling, the moments of loneliness and the declining frequency of sex... It's not only hugely enjoyable but life enhancing too' Daily Mail

Modern love is never easy. Society is obsessed with stories of romance, but what comes after happily ever after?

This is a love story with a difference. From dating to marriage, from having kids to having affairs, it follows the progress of a single ordinary relationship: tender, messy, hilarious, painful, and entirely un-Romantic. It is a love story for the modern world, chronicling the daily intimacies, the blazing rows, the endless tiny gestures that make up a life shared between two people. Moving and deeply insightful, The Course of Love offers us a window into essential truths about the nature of love.

Jojo Moyes

***THE SEQUEL TO THE INTERNATIONALLY BESTSELLING BOOK ME BEFORE YOU - THE FILM ADAPTATION WILL BE RELEASED JUNE 3RD***

Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable, audiobook edition of After You by the Jojo Moyes, the stunning sequel to the worldwide phenomenon Me Before You. Read by Anna Acton.


Lou Clark has lots of questions.

Like how it is she's ended up working in an airport bar, spending every shift watching other people jet off to new places.

Or why the flat she's owned for a year still doesn't feel like home.

Whether her close-knit family can forgive her for what she did eighteen months ago.

And will she ever get over the love of her life.

What Lou does know for certain is that something has to change.

Then, one night, it does.

But does the stranger on her doorstep hold the answers Lou is searching for - or just more questions?

Close the door and life continues: simple, ordered, safe.

Open it and she risks everything.

But Lou once made a promise to live. And if she's going to keep it, she has to invite them in . . .

Praise for The One Plus One
'Moyes does a majestic job of conjuring a cast of characters who are charismatic, credible and utterly compelling' Independent on Sunday
'Jojo Moyes's poignantly romantic tales have readers streaming their way through boxes of Kleenex' Sunday Express
'Moyes is the queen of the classy weepy and this won't disappoint. A masterclass in story-telling that fans of Me Before You will adore' Elle
'Raw, funny, real and sad, this is storytelling at its best' Marie Claire
'Another beautifully written love story I relished' Daily Mail
'I want you to read this book, indeed to read all of Jojo Moyes' books, because they tell truths about modern life. If you're a sentient, empathic, living, breathing human I would urge you to give it a go' The World Book Night book club
'It's a book to both giggle and weep over' Metro
'Quirky and memorable' Red
'Another sure-fire hit... A beautifully written modern love story from Britain's best contemporary female author' Sun on Sunday, Fabulous Magazine
'Compulsive reading' Woman & Home
'A love story, a road trip and family drama all rolled into one brilliant page turner. Jojo Moyes has triumphed again' Hello!
'Grab a box of tissues - this packs an emotional punch' New!
'Peopled with wonderful characters, this is a feel-good book by a lovely writer' Choice Magazine

'A tender, funny and hopeful look at love, grief and life. Bumper box of tissues required' Stylist

"Ein Meisterwerk der Spannung! Die Autorin schafft es auf hervorragende Weise, den Charakteren eine psychologische Seite zu geben, die so gut beschrieben ist, dass wir uns in ihre Köpfe versetzt fühlen, ihren Ängsten folgen und über ihren Erfolg jubeln. Die Handlung ist sehr intelligent und wird Sie das ganze Buch hindurch unterhalten. Voller Wendungen wird Sie dieses Buch bis zur letzten Seite wach halten."

--Books and Movie Reviews, Roberto Mattos (zu Verschwunden)

GEJAGT ist Band #5 in der Bestseller Riley Paige Krimi Serie, die mit dem #1 Bestseller VERSCHWUNDEN (Band 1) beginnt!

Ein Ausbruch aus einem Hochsicherheitsgefängnis. Hektische Anrufe vom FBI. Spezialagentin Riley Paiges schlimmster Albtraum ist Wirklichkeit geworden: ein Serienmörder, den sie vor Jahren hinter Gittern brachte, ist auf freiem Fuß.

Und sie ist sein größtes Ziel.

Riley ist es gewohnt, diejenige zu sein, die Verbrecher jagt, aber zum ersten Mal findet sie sich selbst - und ihre Familie - im Kreuzfeuer eines Jägers wieder. Während der Mörder sie verfolgt, beginnt er außerdem wahllos zu töten und Riley muss ihn stoppen, bevor es zu spät ist - für die anderen Opfer, und für sich selbst.

Aber er ist kein gewöhnlicher Mörder. Er ist zu clever, sein Katz-und-Maus-Spiel zu verdreht, und er schafft es immer wieder, ihr zu entkommen und einen Schritt voraus zu sein. Verzweifelt bemüht ihn aufzuhalten, weiß Riley, dass es nur einen Weg gibt: sie muss sich in die Vergangenheit begeben, in den verdrehten Verstand des Mörders, seinen alten Fall untersuchen und herausfinden, was ihn antreibt. Der einzige Weg ihn aufzuhalten, ist sich der Dunkelheit zu stellen, von der sie gehofft hatte, sie hätte sie bereits hinter sich gelassen.

Ein dunkler Psychothriller, der Herzklopfen bereitet. GEJAGT ist Band #5 einer fesselnden neuen Serie - mit einem geliebten neuen Charakters - der Sie bis spät in die Nacht wach halten wird.

Band #6 in der Riley Paige Serie bald erhältlich.

DESTINED is Book #4 of the Bestselling series THE VAMPIRE JOURNALS, which begins with book #1, TURNED—a FREE download!

In DESTINED (Book #4 in the Vampire Journals), Caitlin Paine wakes to discover herself back in time. She finds herself in a cemetery, on the run from a mob of villagers, and seeks refuge in the ancient cloisters of Assisi, in the countryside of Umbria, Italy. There, she learns of her destiny and her mission: to find her father and the ancient vampire Shield needed to save mankind.

But Caitlin’s heart still pines for her lost love: Caleb. She desperately needs to know if he has survived their trip back in time. She learns that her mission requires her to go to Florence, but if she wants to pursue matters of the heart, she must go to Venice. She chooses Venice.

Caitlin is overwhelmed at what she finds. Venice of the eighteenth century is a surreal place, men and women dressed in elaborate costumes and masks, celebrating an endless, lavish party. She is thrilled to discover and reunite with some of her close friends, and to be welcomed back into their coven. And she is excited to join them in Venice’s Grand Ball, the most important costume dance of the year, where she hopes, once again, to find Caleb.

But Caitlin is not the only one who can travel back in time: Kyle soon arrives, too, and is determined to hunt her down and kill her once and for all. Sam, too, arrives, determined to save his sister before it is too late.

At the Ball, Caitlin searches everywhere, and finds no sign of Caleb. That is, until the very last dance. She dances with a masked man who takes her heart away, and she feels certain that it is him. But as the partners change, she loses him again. Or does she?

Caitlin soon finds herself torn between the two loves of her life, and discovers that she has to be careful what she wishes for. Her joy at finding what she wants might just come mixed with tragedy and heartbreak.

In a climactic, action-packed ending, Caitlin finds herself up against true evil, Rome’s ancient vampire coven, and the most powerful vampire coven that ever existed. Surviving will demand all her skills, as she finds herself battling for her very life. She will have to sacrifice more than ever, if she is to save the one she loves….

Books #3--#11 in THE VAMPIRE JOURNALS are now also available! Morgan Rice's new trilogy, THE SURVIVAL TRILOGY, a post apocalyptic thriller, is now also available for sale. And Morgan's new epic fantasy series, the #1 Bestselling THE SORCERER'S RING, comprising 10 books and counting, is now also available--with the first book, A QUEST OF HEROES, as a FREE download!

From Blake Pierce, bestselling author of ONCE GONE (a #1 bestseller with over 600 five star reviews), comes book #2 in a heart-pounding new mystery series.

In BEFORE HE SEES (A Mackenzie White Mystery—Book 2), FBI agent-in-training Mackenzie White struggles to make her mark in the FBI Academy in Quantico, trying to prove herself as a woman and as a transplant from Nebraska. Hoping she has what it takes to become an FBI agent and leave her life in the Midwest behind for good, Mackenzie just wants to keep a low profile and impress her superiors.

But all that changes when the body of a woman is found in a garbage dump. The murder bears shocking similarities to the Scarecrow Killer—the case that made Mackenzie famous in Nebraska—and in the frantic race against time to stop a new serial killer, the FBI decides to break protocol and give Mackenzie a chance on the case.

It is Mackenzie’s big break, her chance to impress the FBI—but the stakes have never been higher. Not everyone wants her on the case, and everything she touches seems to go wrong. As the pressure mounts and the killer strikes again, Mackenzie finds herself as a lone voice in a sea of experienced agents, and she soon realizes she is in way over heard. Her entire future with the FBI is in jeopardy.

As tough and determined as Mackenzie is, as brilliant as she is in hunting down killers, this new case proves an impossible riddle, something just beyond her reach. She may not even have time to crack it as her own life falls apart around her.

A dark psychological thriller with heart-pounding suspense, BEFORE HE SEES is book #2 in a riveting new series—with a beloved new character—that will leave you turning pages late into the night.

Book #3 in the Mackenzie White Mystery series will be available soon.

Also available by Blake Pierce is ONCE GONE (A Riley Paige mystery—Book #1), a #1 bestseller with over 600 five star reviews on Amazon—and a free download!

The tongue is a power part of the body. In terms of size that can be seen, the size of the tongue is relatively small. The weight of tongue in the male is averagely 70 grams while in the female is about 60 grams. However, the tongue has potential to do great and mighty things. It has a deep connection with the human heart. That is to say, beyond physical anatomy of the tongue, there is more about the spiritual effect of the tongue. As the spirit world supersede the physical, so is the spiritual effect of tongue goes beyond the physical structure of it.

Yes, there is power in the tongue, your tongue is so powerful that it can improve or destroy your entire life. A lot of people ended their life in the prison yard because of the way they use their tongue, despite the fact that they are innocent. Many people passed to the great beyond untimely, because of the use of the tongue. Employment seekers fail interview because of the way they use their tongue. The tongue is so powerful that it can destroy a whole nation; it can cause war in between two countries.

According to the book of Ephesians. 4:29: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen: The tongue has the capacity to determine what you become and you will not. God, the Almighty Creator of all things, understood the potent weapon called tongue this by placing tongue in a "double jail": the lips and the teeth. The only way the tongue exhibit its potency is through spoken word. Have you ever wondered why God kept tongue in such prison? I feel it simply because He wants the individual to be responsible for the use of his or her tongue. Lest one say, I never knew when I said such. Therefore, every man is responsible for letting the tongue out of "the double prisons."

When you take time to look at the story of creation, the world we see and all the beautiful things that are in it were created by the spoken word of the Almighty. Hence, you will understand the power given to the instrument or tool through which words are spoken. As I have stated earlier, the tongue is deeply connected to the human heart. Your tongue is just a faithful representative of your heart. Your tongue is "the painter" which gives the picture of the state of your heart. Where you are and where you will reach in life are both functions of how you use your tongue.

Have you ever desired to change your status? Perhaps you have been wondering how you can get out of that predicament, and you are wondering where to start. You need not look far, start by watching the use of your tongue. Your status is as good as the way you use your tongue.

Of course, I admit that it's difficult for a natural man to put in check the use of the tongue. This is due to his state of heart. Be that as it may, if you will ever see any improvement or advancement, it is high time you started changing your vocabularies. Form negativity to positive words. From the story of woes to good news. From murmuring to giving thanks, from cursing to blessing.

Though, many people through ignorance carelessly use this lethal weapon and thereby limit themselves and destiny of people around them. This book seeks to reveal to you the potency force behind the use of tongue as well as how you can begin to use this faithful servant to create the world you desire.

“Shades of THE HUNGER GAMES permeate a story centered around two courageous teens determined to buck all odds in an effort to regain their loved ones….ARENA ONE builds a believable, involving world and is recommended for those who enjoy dystopian novels, powerful female characters, and stories of uncommon courage.”

--Midwest Book Review

A bundle of Books 1, 2 and 3 in THE SURVIVAL TRILOGY, the #1 bestselling series!

ARENA ONE. New York. 2120. America has been decimated, wiped out from the second Civil War. Survivors, far and few between, join violent gangs, predators who live in the big cities. There is only one rule to their stadium, where opponents are made to fight to the death: no one survives. Ever.

In ARENA TWO, having just escaped from the treacherous island that was once Manhattan, Brooke, Ben, Logan, Bree and Rose make their way up the Hudson river in their stolen boat, low on fuel, low on food, and desperately needing shelter from the cold. On their tails are the slaverunners, who will stop at nothing until they capture them and bring them back.

An action-packed dystopian thriller featuring a tough female heroine whom readers worldwide have fallen in love with, ARENA THREE is the shocking conclusion to the bestselling Survival Trilogy, and one that will leave you turning pages late into the night.

"Addicting...ARENA ONE was one of those books that you read late into the night until your eyes start to cross because you don’t want to put it down."

–Dallas Examiner

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